Meeting new people can be difficult. While making friends isn’t easy, it’s possible.
Usually people make friends at a fairly young age: even in childhood, when they go to school and attend university. Later, they make acquaintances at work. But what to do if the school mates parted, and in the office it was not possible to make friends with anyone, and without friends life seems not very pleasant. There are seven ways to make friends, even in adulthood, when it’s so hard to change your habits and let someone new into your life. Cnet writes about it.
Why is friendship important?
We are social beings. We need human connection to be happy. But friendship is important not only because being alone is much worse. Friends help improve overall health. They can be talked to, friends offer emotional support to help you deal with what you’re experiencing. Whether it’s financial stress or mental health issues, hanging out with friends can help sort out your feelings.
Friendship offers tangible short-term and long-term benefits to your mental and physical health that you can’t get on your own.
The benefits of friendship are:
Improving physical health. Research shows that having friends can reduce your risk of developing heart disease, high blood pressure, and weakened immune function. Friends reduce feelings of loneliness and social isolation. Close friendships will help you not feel like an outcast. Increasing your self-esteem. Why? Therefore, with close people who support you, it is emotionally easier for you to experience failures and celebrate successes more joyfully. Friends help you cope with stress. Studies have shown that people who have friends tend to be better at coping with stress and turmoil.
As an adult, making friends is not easy. Social networks certainly help, but by liking and commenting on photos you create the illusion of closeness. The prospect of being rejected or misunderstood is also frightening.
Studies have shown that those who assume they will be rejected appear cold and withdrawn, which puts people off.
But there are seven ways to make friends, even when you think it’s impossible.
1. Make sure you know what you want
Determining what you want is where everyone should start. Before you do anything else, think about what you want from the relationship you’re trying to build. How much time and effort are you willing to put into finding and maintaining friendships? What kind of friend are you looking for?
Remember that friendship is a two-way street. And when you ask for support from your friends, do it with the understanding that you are ready to provide the same support.
2. Show yourself
There is nothing boastful about this advice. But in order to find friends you have to work. Exposing yourself means stepping outside your comfort zone. A great place to start is your community. Attend events, social gatherings, parties, and other social events.
Rest assured, there will also be people who want to meet someone and find like-minded comrades. But when you step out of your comfort zone, don’t abuse yourself, do it in a way that makes you feel less stressed, and start small.
3. Try Online Groups
Although social networks create the illusion of friendship, they are often useful. After all, many people prefer online communication, because there is no need to go out and meet in person. This is a great choice for people who suffer from anxiety or are introverted.
The use of online interest groups, such as game servers or support groups, gives people the opportunity to find buddies of interest around the world. And this is very good.
4. Throw a party
This is not for everyone, but if you are a sociable person, then you can organize some kind of event and meet new people there. It doesn’t have to be a party: a board night, watching a sporting event, or hosting a quiz is fine too. Whatever it is, the idea is to host a social event on your own terms – you choose when it happens, which one, and make a guest list.
If you are embarrassed by the thought of gathering a group of strangers in the name of friendship, don’t worry. You can use your social gathering as a kind of networking event. Invite the friends you already have and ask them to bring one new person with them when they arrive.
5. Go to apps (but in a friendly way)
Making friends is hard. Sometimes you need an algorithm to help you find them. Similar to dating apps, there are apps specifically designed for meeting and making friends with people. All you have to do is create a profile, add some photos and a few lines about yourself and you are ready to chat. In many applications, there are filters by age, gender and interests.
6. Volunteer
In Ukrainian realities, this is especially true. Now there is a huge number of volunteer organizations in which people are always needed. And in this way you will do two good things at once: help those who are now having a hard time and find new friends.
7. Time for yourself
Making friends as an adult is a process. You will expect peaks and valleys of feedback. Try to keep your self-esteem away from making friends. Remember that your best friend is yourself. So take care of yourself, indulge in the things you enjoy: it can be anything from watching a movie to taking a cooking class. And when you are in harmony with yourself, making friends will be much easier.
Recall that earlier Focus wrote how to recognize a “narcissist” and a manipulator in a relationship.
